Sunday, December 2, 2012

It's Been Awhile....

It's been a really long time since I have blogged.  I seem to go in spurts like that with everything that I do.  I'll blog a lot....then I won't blog at all.  I'll sew a lot....then I won't sew at all.  I'll do a ton of puzzles...then none for a year.  I was talking to my sponsor about this and she just kind of laughed.  We alcoholics tend to have this "all or nothing" mentality and I think that I must carry that over into all parts of my life including hobbies.  I definitely keep busy with hobbies but it's like I have hobby ADD or something.  HA 

For a quick catch up, life is good here.  Today I celebrate 19 months of sobriety and for that I am truly grateful.  Sheridan is busy with cheerleading, Will is busy just being Will, and Tabi is about to finish her first semester of college and is doing really well.  I couldn't be more proud of them all!  Rocko is enjoying laying around being Rocko.  I think he makes the Christmas tree look even better don't you? 

My recovery journey continues day by day and I have to admit, it's not always super easy.  If it was easy, everyone would do it right?  I don't want to drink.  But the emotional sobriety isn't always the easiest thing in the world to keep on track. It isn't always easy to not get involved in other people's problems, especially if it's family you are dealing with.  Even while working what I consider to be a pretty good program I still have days where I just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head and not talk to anyone at all.  I have days where everything around me is frustrating and makes me irritible.  These days are very few and far between thank goodness.  I'm having one of those days today and it's for no reason at all.  Maybe it's the gray and gloomy wet weather?  I'm not sure.  I'm thankful today though that I don't have to drink over a bad day and that I have tools to use to not kill anyone around me.  :) 

In my last post I talked about going off of my Lexapro.  That didn't last very long.  I wanted to try to go off of it but it just didn't work for me and that's okay.  When I was off of it I was turning into a person that I didn't like.  I got to the point where I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin and was irritated by everything around me.  I was turning back into the "old April" very slowly but I could feel it creeping in.  I was just not being a nice person and that isn't me anymore.  I decided to talk to my psychiatrist about going back on the Lexapro and when I told her how I was feeling she was like, "Why would you NOT go back on it???"  Good point.  So I went back on it and was fine again within a week or two.  Some people think it's not a good thing to take those kinds of meds, but if you need them, you need them.  Some people even in recovery still need extra help and I'm okay with that. 

We are gearing up for the holidays around here.  The kids and I decorated our trees last weekend and as always it was a great time.  We put up our big family tree and it is filled with ornaments that all have meaning to me.  Each year everyone gets a new ornament to hang on the tree and that is a great tradition that the kids look forward to.  In the dining room Sheridan and I put up our candy theme tree.  I always wanted one of those and now I have one.  It's beautiful!  In the breakfast room we have our University of Kentucky blue and white tree with UK ornaments on it.  Go Cats!  The kids all have small trees in their bedrooms and we have another one in the basement.  To say I go a little crazy at Christmas is possibly an understatement.  :)  Next week I will start my Christmas baking and I enjoy that SO much.  I give so many baked goods as gifts at this time of the year and I truly love doing that. 

I hope everyone has a great holiday season!  Now it's time for me to go catch up on all of the blogs that I used to read!  :)


  1. Sounds like you're doing pretty good girl!! Makes me happy when there a positive post about family from someone who is honest to admit staying sober isn't easy, always. So worth it I imagine however and I commend you for your strength and look forward to the day when I can say its no longer a problem for me or even better, that I never have to drink again!

  2. Thanks! Sobriety is definitely NOT always easy. LIfe still happens even when you are no longer drinking. :) Good luck with your journey!

  3. Happy 19mos to you!! And, you are right, sobriety isnt easy. I'm over 3yrs into this and there are days when I still think "How can I do this the rest of my life?" And, I dont mean how am I going to NOT drink the rest of my life, that seems easy to me... its the how am I going to do LIFE? Its hard at times. hang in there you are doing great!